An Update For June

Yeah I havn't posted here in a while but I have been busy. I update my Deviantart Account a lot more, so go fallow me there.

I made a new Tumblr Blog, just to be able to post and say what ever I'd like to. This blog format works better for my original work. Please if you have a Tumblr, go fallow me there.

I would ask that you look at my original art as well. Here is a list of blogs I've written about my characters:

Annie-Mae:
New Annie-Mae: Freak of the Freak Kingdom
The development of Annie-Mae's World
The Mountain Dew Fairy Tale
How to Please Hippies
--- Part 2- and Part 3



Eddie Eel:
Stories for Eddie for July
Deep Sea Spooks - Halloween Ep Plot Summery
Music of Eddie Eel
The Stickers

Rokko:
The Horrible Life of Rokko
How Rokko Met Crikkit
Rokko Daddy
Headless Rokko

Haunted Hotel:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4


While I typically don't like to post fanart here, I'll show you what I've been working on. Mostly Gorillaz.

Haunted Hotel Part 4

Continued from Part 3. Start from Part 1 1st if you're new to this story.
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Over the next few days technicians and cleaners come by to start cleaning up the hotel during daylight. Milly sends different workers for different rooms and has them move things around as to disrupt the patterns of the ghosts who reside in there. Rooms that can't be fixed she puts a "Do Not Open" sign on them. For others like the one with the Rocking Chair lady and the boy in her bedroom she just asks to clean the cobwebs and vacuum. Millicent spends those few days staying in the main office avoiding much contact with the loud and boisterous workers, and unnecessary trips up the stairs. One day upstairs, a carpenter tells her that the beer dispensers are so rotten out that she'd need to replace the whole system with something newer. Milly sees that her note has been moved, and asks if the carpenter moved it, he replies that he might've but wasn't paying attention.

Soon, Milly gets a visit from the girl she contacted from the Internet a few weeks ago. She's a tall blond girl in a mini halter top, named Catrina. Milly is taken back by this girl's positive attitude and eagerness to be helpful, as she immediately asks Milly to give her a tour (grabbing Milly's hands and entering a no-touch zone). Milly shows her the bottom floor, and Catrina starts to ask about the ghosts. Unsure if this girl is for real, Milly tells her that the only ghost she should worry about is the one in the stairs. Catrina immediately runs to the stairs to see if she can see it, but gets disappointed that nothing is there.

Catrina and Milly get to know each other better through out the day. Catrina says that she had great grand mother or aunt that was burned for being a witch, and thinks that a haunted place like this would be great to hone her own clairvoyance skills. Milly then questions why she hadn't noticed the ghosts that were visible to Milly,...and as a matter of fact why none of the cleaners had experienced anything odd. The only reconfirming feeling Milly had about her haunting was when she hired a locksmith to work on her office bedroom but by the end of the day they couldn't even take it down with an ax.

Milly offers Catrina a room, but Catrina says that she's staying with a relative and didn't want to be late. One by one more of the other workers start to leave and Milly is left alone in the dark quiet hall. She goes through the 1st floor rooms, seeing if her renovations worked. The hanging lights in the room with the suicidal man had been replaced with a smaller light fixture. She looks around and sees an outline of a man with a rope looking at the new light fixture, confused. Milly apologizes, saying she'll get him some Zolof later. The 'Happy Room' had it's bed moved around and after sitting in there for a few moments, no crazy brothel woman came in to bother her (Milly imagined that her death might've been caused by the wife of a man she slept with).

Milly thinks that she hadn't gone up to see Russel in a long while and so he might be less moody to see her after all this time (plus she's been getting tired of sleeping on a cold floor in the office). Milly grabs her laptop and heads up stairs, stopping every so often to avoid getting thrown off by Grunder's tugs. As if on cue, Russel asks Milly how she's doing and if she wanted something to drink.

Milly smiles and asks how he can serve up drinks with a broken machine. He looks strangely at her and shows that it works fine. She walks behind the bar herself to see how he does it, and he steps back surprised that she would enter his space. She notices that his legs are quite transparent, but he's standing on the ground. Milly looks around and notices that there aren't any glasses to use. She tries to grab the one he has in his hand but it falls to the ground and shatters. He laughs and says that she doesn't need to be doing his job. She watches as he cleans up the broken glass with a rag and he throws it in the sink where it disappears and he grabs a new glass to start cleaning. She nods her head understanding that those items exist for him to use.

Milly stays in his space as he tries to walk around her to get to the other side of the bar. A few times his arms go through her and she feels a odd cold rush past. Milly starts up a conversation, "Do you know that you're dead?"
Russel pauses and thinks, "Oh, Yes."
"Then why are you still here?"
"Well I guess it gives me something to do. Keeps me sane."
"Ok then tell me this. Am I crazy? Am I imaging you and all of this?"
"I don't think so. If you were crazy that means I don't exist. But I know I exist cause I'm here talking to you. Unless you're not really there and I'm the one that's crazy. So if we're both crazy, that means you don't exist and I don't exist...so who's having this conversation?"

Milly gives a blank stare with a slowly growing smile. The two start to laugh and Russel points out to the note, "I read your note the other day. I missed ya to."
Milly blushes, "Oh...heh, thanks. I didn't want to bother you cause you were pretty grumpy that other morning."
Russel looks at her with a smirk, "Was I? Hm."
"I guess long nights of doing nothing can get to ya."
"Doing nothing, huh? I like being here, this is what I was hired to do, and I'm good at it. I can repair the pipes on my own if there are problems, you didn't need someone up here to do that...unless you're planning to take it out."

Milly steps back, "Oh no! I mean I'd like to get it working again. Would that throw you off?"
Russel pauses to think, "I don't know. As long as it still works for me I'd be fine with it. You don't need to seek my approval. You own the place, have confidence in your decisions. The only concern I have is that your renovations only make the ghosts lost in their own space...."
Milly is worried and confused, "Well maybe we can get them to head towards the light. They don't need to be here anymore, they can go to someplace better."
Russel, "Or some place worse?"

Milly frowns and thinks about what she's doing,"I wish I could allow the ghosts and mortals to live side by side, but I'm running a business for the living. They'll be coming in here paying full price and you ghosts are staying free of charge so long as you don't scare away the paying customers. People don't want to sleep in Satan's bed either."
Russel nods, "Very well, I can't argue with that but I don't speak for all of us. What I can say is that when it comes to being 'grumpy in the mornings', I promise to be more consolable for your concerns."
Milly laughs "Hey if you're not a morning person I can understand that...wanna watch some movies?"

The two of them sit behind the bar while Milly laughs at old 70's movies, and Russel serves the customers endless drinks. The gentleman walks up for the 3rd time that night and scolds Milly, "Young lady you have the most foulest mouth. You and your cursed box have no place in this fine establishment. Young man I request that you dispatch this bearcat from premises forthwith."
Russel looks at the man, "Well sir I'll have to ask the manager." He looks to Milly, " Mam' would you like to leave?"
Milly looks angrily and the ghost, "No! I wouldn't and I say we have the right to refuse services. No more drinks for you!" and she tries to knock the drink out of his way but her hand goes through it.
The gentleman gets angry and storms off, "I refuse to give service to this establishment again. To hell with you all and your smut films!"

From the bottom of the stairs Grunder calls out to Russel, "I agree, bartender, that girl is bad for business. She'll run this place to the ground and we'll be left to haunt pile of ash and rubble."
Milly yells back to him from behind the bar, "If that's what you want I can make it happen! That wall paper gone! Your steps? A ramp! And I'll dig a huge pit into the ground, take all that dirt and toss it into the ocean. You're not good enough to haunt ash and wood, you'll haunt a giant concrete pillar where those damn stairs used to be. And I'll make a new staircase somewhere else...and an elevator. Haha!"
There is a pause before Grunder replies, "You'd do all of that for me? How nice of you! You must really like me."

Milly fumes and runs out of the bar ready to smack him. Milly stands at the edge of the stairs looking at the ghost who's peaking through the banisters from the last few steps below.
"I swear, you're GONE! I don't know what I have to do to get you out of here but you're...GRR! Beyond dead here!"
"Give me head...or your head which is ever easier."
Milly grabs the glass of beer still at the edge of the bar and throws it at him. The glass hits the railing above Grunder's head and shatters, and disappears instantly, Grunder doesn't even flinch. Russel backs up in shock, surprised she was actually able to grab on to the glass.

Grunder smirks a bit and waits for Milly to calm down,"Fine, I'll go...make it easier for both of us. Don't mean intrude on the prospects of a young emerging business lady. It's only a shame we didn't get to know each other better." With that a dark shadow fills the stairway for an instant and a rush of hot air hits Milly. Milly looks down the stairs in shock and back to Russel, who looks back at her with a shrug (mostly still scared about Milly's anger). Milly takes a step down and waits for something to happen. She works her way to the banister and looks over the edge to the 1st floor and sees nothing there. Russel looks around the corner to see what's going on and Milly looks back feeling slightly confident.

A hand emerges from under Milly and grabs her ankle. She holds tight to the railing to avoid being pulled down but a sharp stings hit her hands and the pull on her ankle grows stronger. She lets go and the hand pulls her leg through the banister. Another hand grabs her other leg and pulls it through a different banister, making it hard for her to to close her legs. From below, Grunder rises up with his tongue licking her legs, slowly getting closer to her crotch. Milly panics and pulls one her her legs away from his grip and starts to kick him, with no effect but just to make him laugh.

Grunder crawls up through the banister, the rails going right through him but more like they're fusing with his skin, then him being transparent. Milly starts to pound against his head and crawl her way closer to the edge of the stairs, but his grip holds her in place. All of her hits, even a few knees in the crotch don't hurt him at all. Grunder pins Milly down and starts to kiss and lick her face while pulling down his pants.

Seeing all of this, Russel calls over the Drunk man to try to help Milly. Within moments the Drunk runs over, kicks Grunder's head, steals his hat and run back up to the top floor. Grunder looks at the drunk who starts to play around with the hat and fills it with beer (the hole in the top of it prevents it from filling up). Grunder yells at the drunk to give it back but the drunk threatens to rip it up. He thinks about ignoring the drunk looking at Milly eye to eye. She freezes up but he smiles to steal one more kiss and brings her up to her feet with him. He tells her in her ear, "No funny stuff girl. Get me my hat and I'll make it quick and easy for both of us."

Step by step, Grunder holds Milly tight and he allows her to reach one hand out and beg the drunk for the hat back. The drunk acts like he's going to walk away until Grunder inserts his sharp fingers into Milly's gut threating to hurt her more if the hat doesn't come back. The drunk holds out the hat far enough away from Milly as she has to take a few more steps up. To her left she can see Russel standing posed and ready with a bottle in his hand. She mouths to him, 'just hit me' knowing that the bottle go through her to hit Grunder, but Russel asks for one more step. The Drunk sees that command and backs up, allowing Milly to get onto the final step on the 2nd floor.

With both her feet firmly on the top step, Russel bends farther over the bar to pound Grunder in the head with the bottle. This allows Milly to break free from his grip and she runs into the bar and huddles under Russel's feet, her body going through him. Grunder screams and roars pulling at the walls around him, and causing boards from the floor to lift up and snap. Terrible winds and shadows escape from stairway blowing back the drunk a bit, but he tosses the hat back to Grunder and runs back to his spot at the end of the bar.

Grunder screams and swears to Milly from the stairs, "If you didn't want it you wouldn't keep coming back to me!" He smashes the window to allow the wind to blow through to cause more unsettling noises and disappears. Russel watches the stairway to make sure that he doesn't try to come out to get him, and turns to Milly. He sits down to try to comfort her, but he only goes through her. Milly rocks back and forth, crying and after a while falls asleep on the floor next to him. Russel stays next to her, enjoying how warm she is, but he gets up when he sees her shudder from his cold presence. By that time everything had turned back to normal and the hotel was quite, ready for the morning to come.

Haunted Hotel Part 3

Continued from Part 2. Start from Part 1 1st if you're new to this story.
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Early the next morning Milly has a dream. She's walking into her room and see's two people asleep in the bed. A small petite woman sleeping closer to the door and an extremely large man on the opposite side of the bed. She walks up to the foot of the bed and crawls in between them. Within moments, the large man starts to stir and roll over onto Milly. Milly struggles to push the man off her and then realizing how the little ghost boy had been sitting on her the night before. She assumes that he's now trying to suffocate her, so she tosses up the covers and sits up in a heavy sweat. She looks to her side to see the small boy stare at her with wide eyes.

With a scream, she jumps out of bed and runs out of the room. She closes the door tight but in her mind she still sees the boys sunken eyes staring her. She slowly walks backwards until she bumps into the banister behind her and screams thinking she'll fall over it. From around her she hears laughter from brothel girls and Grunder. She looks over to Grunder who is hunched over at the edge of the stares rolling his finger, begging her to come to him, "I'll make it all go away sweetheart."

Milly starts to hyperventilate and in a weak voice calls out for help. She notices that Russel is staring at the empty wall behind him not moving. Soon the drunk and another gentleman in the sitting area, get up to look at her. Hunched over the top stair, Grunder starts to stretch his fingers and long tongue towards her. Milly looks to see somewhere else to run but eyes grow up around her, on the floors and walls. The entire hotel is staring at her waiting to see what she'll do next. Milly covers her head and begging for it to stop.

Milly snaps out of her panic attack when there's a knock on the door below. She looks around in surprise and sees that Russel has broken out of his blank stare as well, surprised to see Milly there. She looks to see the Hotel has returned back to normal so she runs over to the 2nd story window to see who's down below. She calls out to an old couple waiting at the door. They want to come in and set a reservation. Milly thinks over her options and the safety of two old people in a spooky room, but knows the money will be worth it, so she tells them to wait while she comes down.

Just as she's about the leave down the stairs, Grunder pops up instantly in front of her, blocking her way. She catches a glimpse in his eyes and freezes up, feeling another panic attack coming on. His fingers start pick at her hair and a wave of cold air rush past her. Grunder bends over closer to look at her face and asks, "Are you ready to be part of my world now, pretty thing?"

Milly blanks out her mind and yells out, "Get out of my way, you Rat Soup eatin' Mutha F**ka!"
Gunder laughs and politely moves out of the way to let her by. Milly opens her eyes but never once lets them off of his eyes. She holds on tight to the banister and they walk down the stares one step at the same time, Grunder staring at her with devious delight, and Milly with hateful fear. Once she rounds the corner to the last flight she yells at him to never get in her way again or he'll find the raw end of a hammer up his ass.

He rushes her and grabs her face to bring it close to his, "Don't disrespect my politeness when you're in my world!, you ungrateful bitch! " He pushes her to the ground and tells her to open the door for the customers.

Milly gets up quickly and opens the door for the old couple. For the 1st time in her life, Milly is happy to see real people. The old couple thank her and are excited to see such a wonderful hotel. They explain that they're here to attend a huge city festival that'll happen a few months in the future, and seeing how this hotel is so close to the main street it'd be the perfect place to stay that's not in the main hussel and bussel of the festivities. Milly has a sinking gut feeling that she'll need to get this place cleaned up faster then she had thought she would.

Looking around (seeing there are too many ghosts still in the main hall to bring in normal people) she takes the couple upstairs, explaining that most of the rooms aren't quite cleaned up yet, but she can get advice about the best room for them by an employee. Up stares the Milly talks to Russle to find the best room for them, and he says 1s down the hall but warns them not to open the closet. Milly enters the room with the elderly couple and her eyes hit right on the closet door. With eager temptation she walks closer to it, as her curiosity drills little dents in her brain but decides to just put a chair in front of it. The older couple approve of the space and say they'll have this space reserved for the official re-opening of the hotel.

The couple leave and Milly waves them off (avoiding going down stares again). She takes in a big sigh and sees the sunlight start to come in. She looks over to Russel who's doing one last wipe down of the counter tops. She comes up to him and angrily asks why he didn't try to help her when she was stopped by Grunder. Russel looks up with a confused angry look on his face, "I don't work during the day. There are some things you have to figure out on your own cause I can't always be here to help you." With that the sun comes through the window and he disappears.

Millicent looks at the space he was at and takes a huge sigh. For the day, she spends her time going into the rest of the rooms ghost hunting, and taking more notes. Two rooms down from her own, a man with an ax screams and chaises after half way down the hall before he disappears. She goes back to open the door and duck and hide before the ax man can see her. When there isn't a response she peeks into the room and sees that he's standing in front of the bed waiting for her. She closes the door slowly and writes a note on it, 'do not open.' In another room she looks under the bed to see red eyes and chattering teeth. She gets spooked and pulls the covers back down, but she stops and thinks about how silly it is and pulls all the covers off the bed where she sees that nothing is there (solution: no long covers).

Milly gets to the spot with the two brothel girls. They look at each other for a long time and Milly tries to ask them questions but they roll their eyes and smerk. Milly looks over the banister to down below and pictures that they might've gotten into a fight and fallen to their deaths (possibly landing on the mustache man below).
The brown haired girl taps Milly and it startles her, "You like the man at the bar don't you?"
Milly blushes a bit, "Huh?"
The brown haired girl points to the bar, "He's got a long tongue." The blond girl makes an obscene gesture with her fingers and tongue, and the two of them laugh.
Milly shakes her head and opens the door behind them. She looks inside and sees a naked headless man. Milly looks at the two girls in disgust and points at him as if to say, "Did you do this?"
They shrug their shoulders, "He was like that when we got here."

The last room is a deep freezing cold room, and she assumes that it'd be the best place for the ice machine. Apon existing she sees a small little door to her right and starts to walk over it. Quickly out of the left corner of her eye she sees a glimps of a young woman (younger then her) jump from the banister. Milly takes a 2nd look but there is no evidence of the spirit still there. Turning to the small door, Milly finds a set of stairs leading to the roof. She gets to the top and feels the wind rushing past her face. The sun is already midway down by now and but Milly enjoys the cool air and wind. She then hears a voice to her left call out, "Can you help me mam'?"

She slowly turns around and sees a man in Cowboy hat and a bandanna around his neck. He is moderately transparent and the wind doesn't seem to be glowing his hair or cloths. He pulls out his gun and points it at her, playfully making shooting motions, "I'm looking for the man in black. You know where he be at?"
She stares at him wide eyed and fearful, "He's down stairs...I'll go get him." She heads towards the stairs and back into the main hotel. She stands in the middle of the sitting area and says aloud, dumbstruck, "There's a Cowboy on the roof...why is there a cowboy on the roof?" (*I'll tell ya why some other day if you're interested*)

She stops and thinks about what the cowboy said and walks to the stairs and bangs on the wall three times, "Where are you?!"
"You came to kiss and make up?" Grunder looks down at her from the ceiling on the opposite side of the stairs. Sitting upside down without a grin, his presence makes her jump.
"There's a man on the roof who wants to talk to you. He seems friendly." Milly stays far enough away from the stairs without taking him out of her sight.
"I got no business with a man right now. He wants to get to know me so bad, he can come down here himself. You though *points to Millicent quickly*, all this bad blood between us can go away. You're a fun one, ya know? Get to know each other better...I'll even string ya a pearl necklace...Right here *uses his finger to draw a line under his neck*"

Milly looks in horror, hic-ups, and quickly walks back to her room. She buries her head in her hands for a moment and cries. Not long she looks up to see that there is still enough sunlight left she can get down stairs and spend the night in the main hall, rather then force herself back up again and deal with the demon. She gathers some blankets and her hammer and gets to the stairs. She writes a note for Russel, telling him that she's sorry to bother him so much and she'll see him the next time she's up there. Making sure Grunder isn't out for the prowl, she hugs tight to the banister and makes it down safely. Milly gets to her computer to make a few extra notes and finish up calls. By morning, she starts the renovations.

Haunted Hotel Part 2

Continued from Part 1. Read 1st please. One image might be a bit mature for sensitive viewers.
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In the morning, Millicent finds that she's awoken by terribly bright lights getting into her room. She looks outside and sees there are mirrors on top of the opposite building. They take the light from the rising sun and project it into the rooms on that side of the hotel. She takes a mental note about how sunlight makes certain ghosts go away. She sees that the two brothel girls are still in the main hall but fade in and out to the point of almost looking like smoke and dust. She walks over to the stares and looks over at the bar, expecting some words of wisdom from Russel but he's not there. She holds tight to one side of the banisters and to the feather duster and starts to run down the stares. At the last step she feels a tug at her leg and she trips, but made it down to the ground floor (Grunder's voice laughing). She gives the window a dirty look and kicks the last stare (stubbing her toe).

Back in her office she tries to open the door to the bed room but with no luck, the knob won't even turn. She gets out two large wood blocks and stamps out the words "NEVER LET GO OF BANISTER!!" The 1st one she nails at the bottom of the stares, and she saves the 2nd one to nail at the top later. She gets out a pen and paper and starts to write down all the ghosts that she sees. Now that she had stayed the whole night in the creepy hotel and didn't die she might as well make good of her promise to get rid of the stares and get the hotel running again.

The two kids playing with the popguns are in the maintenance room during the day sleeping away from the sun. The man with the mustache only sits in the one chair in the middle of the room and only gets up every few hours just to go back sitting in the chair again. The two brothel ladies look at Milly were ever she goes and don't really do much of anything but giggle and sneer. Milly sees that most of the ghosts she saw at night don't appear during the day, so this is the best time to get maids and maintenance in to clean up.

Every room has a small creep or tweak that gives off a scary shock. Most of them are sounds, moving lights or temperature changes. Sitting in one room she saw the rug pattern rise up and try to strangle her (easy solution: replace rug). In another room a man hangs him self from the light fixture, the light fixture always rocks back and forth even when the lights are on (Solution: remove hanging light fixture). In one room, she sits in for a long while before a brothel girl and a drunk man show up and bounce on the bed to have sex. The brothel girl looks at her, gets angry and starts to hit and throw things at Milly, until she leaves the room. Milly catches her breath outside and opens the door to see the mess she has to clean up but notices that nothing changed. Determined to teach the ghost a lesson, she sits and waits. When she comes back Milly tries to tell the ghost off, but the ghost pushes her against the wall and throws her out the door. This is a harder solution to figure out.

In the opposite corner of the hotel farthest away from the front door is a room doesn't appear big enough to be an actual living space. Inside it is a swirling mass of gray and blue clouds clouds with small rays of light poking through. Milly feels oddly attracted to the mass and touches it to feel calm and happy. She still decides though that this room cannot be used for guests and closes it up. One room has a lonely rocking chair with an old woman in it who just smiles a waves, but doesn't appear to be effected by any type of light.

Having gone through the 1st floor Milly decides to take a rest to make some business calls. Through her internet connections she finds someone she met on-line that lives near the city and is excited to meet a friend to come and help. Calling back the attorney reveals that he had an accident last night and he's in a critical state. Milly just tells the secretary that she hopes he'll get better and stares into the wall with a hallow expression. Even if she didn't want to run the hotel she can't get out of it until she finds better help...or dies 1st.

As the sun sets more ghosts show up in the main hall. She can't quite tell what causes the dancing couple to start up or what can make them stop (as she tries to put things in their way and pull them apart with no luck). The other random ghosts that are around react angrily when she tries to move their favorite item and they scare her away. Turning on the lights doesn't make them go away but makes them harder to see so at least until she can redecorate during the day, and at night she'll have to live with their noise.

Right away Grunder makes calls out to her, knowing that she's got to climb up the stairs to her room again. She can't see him but climbs up it slowly so she can stamp him out or nail her wood block onto his face. She makes it to the 3rd flight without his pranks trying to push her over and she starts to hammer in the nail in when the wall bulges out and pushes her against the other side. She gets angry and starts to hammer dents into the wall, which makes Grunder laugh louder, "Now you're going to have to fix those, HAHAH!"

The gentlemen at the bar points out that noone will read the sign if it's on the side of the wall. She gives him a nasty look but Russel points for her to post it on his side of the wall. She weeps a bit while she does so and he offers her another drink (she hears the brothel girls laugh). After calming down a bit, Milly explains to Russel how she went through the whole hotel and can figure out how to stop some of the ghosts, such as replacing lights and removing the items that trigger their habits. Russel gives her a worried expression and points out that ghosts will react differently to different situations. Different light sources, different items being moves, and even different types of people. Just because the item is moved doesn't mean the ghost is gone (Milly wonders if she needs to get a church man in to fix that).

Milly brings up the brothel girl who attacked her and tore apart the room every time she went in. Russel remembers that the brothel woman would only attack women who'd stay in there, and that men will have different experience in there ("Calling it 'the happy room'.") She gets frustrated knowing that half of the rooms she was in probably didn't work for her but Russel tells her that she's making progress. She's the only person to get to know the ghosts before, but he asks why she would want them gone.

Milly looks down the stares with a sneer, and then turns to Russel, "If they were as nice as Russel they could stay but how can I make a living off hotel that'll scare people to death?
Russel pours a beer into a glass for the drunk man, "You think it's fair that we have to make adjustments for the living? We were once like you and after all this time we're still expected to fallow mortal man's laws. "
Milly gets angry, "Hay most of us only live for 100 years if we're lucky, and we should at least be able to make the best of that time. You have all eternity, wouldn't you want to spend it somewhere nicer? Don't you have friends and family you want to see again?"
Russel looks at her as he hands over the drink, "Don't you have friends and family you should be visiting?"
Milly grows quiet and mopes. She says good night to Russel and heads to bed to try to sleep off a crazy day.

Headless Rokko

I've been thinking about what it takes to really kill a cartoon. Most people still think that only Dip, the toxic substance from the 1990 Roger Rabbit movie, is the only thing that can kill them. But I believe that depending on the type of cartoon you are, the type of injuries you substance will effect you differently. These "powers" are given to the toon by their creator. Superman can only be killed by kyrptonite, so would he still dissolve when dumped in Dip? Pokemon and Digimon don't die, but could you splash some paint thinner on them and they'd disappear forever? Plus there are plenty of times where a character is put in mortal danger and while we might assume that somehow they'll make it out alive, we hold our breaths when the character is hanging from the cliff at the end of episode. A toon needs to have a level of mortality cause if they didn't, then why should we be worried about their safe return next week?

The fallowing story is a play on that idea as well a cartoons ability to remove it's head. Rokko is a character constantly struggling to deal with his mortality; when ever he wants to die, he can't. When ever he needs to stay alive, he's in jeopardy of dieing. Warning! the blog is quite violent, dark, and contains mature subject matter.
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Rokko is being chased by a bunch of human thugs. We're not told what he did or why but they shoot guns off each other and run into a warehouse. One guy tackles Rokko to the ground and they roll around until Rokko is on top of the man. Rokko pushes the man's head into the ground trying to crush it but hesitates cause he doesn't want to kill him. The man brings up his gun to Rokko's head but he grabs the man's arm just before he shoots. The bullet ricochets off the walls behind him, into the back of Rokko's skull and doesn't pass all the way through. Rokko blacks out and falls over. The other men catch up to where Rokko lays and kick him around a bit. One guy takes out a huge knife and slices a huge cut around Rokko's neck and pulls his head off. They take the head and shove it in the box and laugh about the fight. Suddenly, the body gets up and starts flailing it's arms around and hitting a few of the thugs like rockets through the walls. They freak out and run away leaving the body to fall and trip over it's self.

After a few hours, Rokko's body is left in the warehouse bleeding black ink all over the floor. Crikkit then scuttles up from the darkness and pushes Rokko around to see if he's still alive. The bug lifts the body up and it starts to move on it's own, punching the wind and falling over without balance. It stands up completely and then takes off running strait into the wall and falls over, spewing out stomach acid and more ink. Crikkit then grabs it's arm to take it back to Rokko's apartment. His pants fall off as the two of them run and along the way, the body fights Crikkit's pulling, thinking it's an enemy.

Back with the human thugs, they talk about how they should try to get more money for the head. If the man who paid for them to axe it off wanted it so bad, then it's possible that other people wanted it twice as bad. One man opens the box in the back of the car and the head has filled the box with ink and it spills onto the floor. They pull over to find a place to hose it off.

Crikkit finally gets Rokko back to the apartment where Rokko's two roommates are. They freak out over the headless body, not sure it's even worth keeping him around. Crikkit just starts to make a meal while they drill the bug about the people who did this to Rokko. Crikkit doesn't respond much other then to ask for salt, pepper and for a table to be set. The Coyote pokes the body a few times and it punches the wall next to it. He laughs, glad it missed. The Capybara thinks about a few times he saw other toons loose their head. It's different each time he's seen it and that the longest time he's seen a toon without it's head was 3 hours...but then notes that Rokko is not normal. The Coyote says that he's actually nicer without his head, they should leave him that way (as the body starts to shake the Coyote's hand and pat his head).

Crikkit tells them last he remembers was there was a man stalking Rokko earlier in the week. He remembers the face and draws it on the table in steak sauce. The man only confronted Rokko once telling him how interesting he was, asking about touching his skin and flashed a 100$ bill. Rokko said "fuck off" and kicked the car over. Both the Coyote and Capybara don't remember seeing a man like that on their own time, and they get up to start making calls to other toons about a man in a black car wanting to touch them. Crikkit starts to feed Rokko by shoving food down the open hole in his neck.
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The human thugs arrive at the house of the mysterious man. He looks surprisingly at the box, and they take it out showing him the head. He yells at the thugs saying that they should've brought the body with them. They yell back saying that he didn't mention a thing about the body and that he should've paid more cause the fight with this creature was not worth what they were promised. The mystery man tells them to go back to hunt down the body and they'll get twice what they were promised. They inform him about how the body still fought back but the man tells them to go back anyway. Two of the thugs head back to the warehouse while two stay with the head back at the mansion to make sure they still have head in their possession. Rokko's head moves and opens it's eyes slightly to see what's going on, but doesn't make a sound.
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By late that night the Capybara had found out about the mystery man's plan to pick up old cartoons to turn into hunting trophies. With no clear direction about where to find this man, Crikkit says they should let the body hunt down the head like a blood hound, it might know where it's head is. The body falls over and squirms like a caterpillar across the floor. Shaking their head with disbelief the Coyote and Capybara pick up the body and put it in the car.

For most of the night the thugs and the toons cross passes upset that neither can find the missing body part they're looking for. Rokko's body leads the toons into the oddest places like bike shops, gyms, pharmacies, and the sides of busy streets where it throws stuff at passing cars. When the thugs find out that the body is gone, they set the warehouse on fire in frustration, which catches the attention of the toons and they fallow the trail back to the toon hunter's house.
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In the house the hunter shows the two other thugs his collection. He doesn't hunt for sport or just to have something rare, but things that feel good. Often times he's shot something that he thought would feel nice but it turned out coarse and rough. When he met his 1st toon he shook it's hand and the feeling that came over him was cold but warming. Not that the toon wasn't warm-blooded but being around it was so uplifting. His last wife left him cause of his past hunting habbits, so he slowly has been getting rid of his real animal pelts and replacing them with toon pelts, that being around them would be more uplifting. No more depression.

All the while the hunter is talking Rokko's head is sniffing the air and moving it's lips. The eyes open and close at irregular intervals, and it opens it's mouth is slowly and clamps down hard on the air.

The man continues in saying that he stalked this toon (Rokko) a while back cause at a store they bumped into each other and the skin didn't feel like fur but he looked furry. If all other old cartoons felt this way he could start a new type of fur clothing line. Gilt free furs; the toons he took them from can't die and it wasn't real fur. The thugs look at the head on the table and pet it, and they mention how it feels like wet hair, being covered in ink.

The hunter looks in confusions and goes over the pick up the head. He too notices that it's hairy and starts to think they played a trick on him. They demand for the head back but he pulls out a gun on them and they drop theirs in a panic. He yells at them to get out, and once the other thugs bring back the body none of them will get a dime. The Thugs back into a corner swearing this is the real head but the hunter grabs it anyway saying that they brought a fake head without the body to fool him.
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Outside the thugs talk about going into the mansion guns a blazing and take what ever they can fine but are stopped at gun point by the Coyote. The thug who nearly had his head crushed by Rokko, runs out of the car screaming in terror (fearing that another toon would be just as strong) and runs right into Rokko's body who grabs onto the thugs head again and smashes it like a melon. The Thug in the driver's seat pushes the door open to knock over the Coyote, and shoots.

The Capybara takes cover back in their car with Rokko's body, while Crikkit rushes into the Thugs car and starts the engine. Crikkit steps on the gas making the Driver Thug fall out of the car while it takes off and falls to the side of the road. The Coyote and the thug have a wrestle match on the ground, he takes a sharp bite out of the thugs arm and the thug shoots the coyote through the nose. The Capybara lets Rokko's body go, telling him to kick the soccer ball, and he rushes over to the Thug who's about to shoot again. Rokko's leg rears back and kicks the thug's head clean off so it lands through the window of the hunter's house right next to his feet.

All of the people inside stare at the new head on the floor in fear. The hunter looks up and grins and shoots the two thugs anyway. He looks out the window to see the toons coming up through the front door. He's happy to see he's got three new pelts, and mentions how he might be making some human leather hand bags as well (yeah he's a sick fuck, sorry). With Rokko's head under his arms he goes to his hunting closet where he picks out a shot gun and loads it. Crikkit is the 1st one to enter the room but stays hidden watching the man load the gun. He notices Rokko's eyes are open looking around like wild spirals but the hunter does not.

With the head still under his arm the hunter sets up to shoot anything that's going to come in. Trying to stay hidden, Crikkit waves to Rokko to get his attention but he can hear the foot steps of the toons coming up the stares. Ready and waiting the hunter grins big but the head drops to the floor. He sees Crikkit pulling at the nose but the hunter steps on Rokko's ear with his foot. The head starts to chomp up and down (soundless except for gashing) and Crikkit freaks out and runs away. The hunter picks up the head by the ear but the head finds a way to grab onto his arm and chomp it off.

The Toons stopped at the mid way point up the stares when they hear the hunter screaming. The head then slithers out of the door and down the stares not aware it passed it's body. The Coyote grabs for it and picks it up. It starts gashing at the air again. He shakes it like a piggy bank and the bullet that was stuck in his head falls out of the mouth. The Capybara stops the Coyote from putting the head and the body back together saying that Rokko might be even angrier if he had his head on strait. This allows the Capybara to go up and do clean up work on all the humans. The two thugs that were shot by the hunter weren't injured bad but they tell the Capybara that they'll deal with the Hunter in a legal way ("No more of this mobster shit for me. I thought it'd be hookers and free cocaine.")
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Back at the home stead, Rokko sits on the sofa with his head back on wrapped in bandages. He laughs and thanks the other guys for helping him out and tells the story about how his middle child could do the most amazing things with his detached head. He isn't sure if it's a family trait but that boy didn't need his head to get things done.
Rokko thinks about the men his body killed without his conscious mind to hold his self back. Figures he's got a pretty good head on his shoulders after all.

Rokko Daddy

This fallowing story does contain some mature artwork. So please be warned. Proofread by DMajorBoss.
This is also a parody story of many different elements, both Bioschock and Captain Kangaroo. The image below was an extensive piece using over 40 layers and done over the course of three weeks, gathering textures and brush styles from around the net. If you'd like to know which stock images I used I can find where I got them from but most of them I didn't write down...NOW ON TO THE STORY!!

Rokko get a call from the cops and is ordered to kill a magic man who has built a palace under the sea. He broadcasts his TV show to children and begs them to come down to his palace to live forever in fun and joy. Since this show has been on the air, children have been either disappearing or running away from different parts all over the country. The cops have found out that the signal to the show comes from deep in the ocean but no one can go down there to stop him. Rokko wouldn't normally do work for the cops, but this is a "Do this or go to jail" situation.

Rokko gets a dive suit and ventures under the sea to find the palace. Once he finds it, he's not met with open arms. The castle's barracks open up and shoots at him, but he's able to drill into a sewage duct to get inside. He sneaks around until he gets to a ball room and sees a huge party. After finding a guy whose suite he snags, he tries to blend in with the crowd of people. What he learns from people is that the Magic Man is a genius and fun to be around. He makes special elixirs that give the people super powers, such as lightening and telekinetic abilities. They're so happy that they never want to leave, even if it seems unfair that he makes all the rules.

The man of the hour soon shows up to make his gala entrance. He introduces himself as Captain Kid and introduces his Puppet friend Lilac the Sleepy Moose. Captain Kid is so happy to see everyone here at the party for the 27th time in a row, but informs them that there is a spy in the castle. They all get scared but the Captain tells them there is no need for alarm, this spy is as welcome as anyone else here. The captain can promise that the spy will never want leave once he sees how great this place is. He calls the party to a close and starts to walk into the crowd towards Rokko. Rokko keeps it cool, pretty sure that even if he knows Rokko is the spy, they don't have to get into a fight.

The captain shakes Rokko's hands as asks him why he has infiltrated his castle, a simple knock on the door would have been enough. As they walk together for a bit Rokko bluntly states that he is there to investigate the cause of the missing children and his TV show. The Captain explains that anyone who's come down here has done so willingly. While he would like for the children to come down to play with him, he does try to tell them why going back home would be so much better. Before Rokko can ask more, the Captain introduces Rokko to a small club on the side of the castle that serves alcohol and where a band of Two Toned characters are performing on the stage. Rokko sees a cute Rabbit girl on stage singing some crazy swing tunes. Rokko gets entranced with her performance as the Captain tells a butler to give Rokko a cocktail.

When the band finishes performing the Captain brings the Rabbit to meet Rokko. She gets excited to see another Two Tone and explains how she was offered the job to play down in the castle by the Captain when he saw her back on the surface. The butler brings up the cocktails and it's this bright glowing green mixture in a baby bottle. Rokko looks at it confused but the Captain explains that this is the elixir the he gives the people so that they get super powers. The Rabbit takes hers and drinks it up with joy and floats with laughter. Rokko says, "They're making crazier stuff on the surface. Probably won't give me the same high as she's getting now."

The Rabbit girl starts asking Rokko more and more questions about the surface, so the Captain leaves the two of them be. They talk a bit and as the night goes one Rokko eventually takes a swig of the elixir (without the nipple attached). This leads to a surge of odd powers and feelings that make Rokko feel ill but he holds it in so as to not freak out the girl. She goes on about how she and her friends felt like the world around them was moving too fast and noone liked old cartoons anymore. Rokko looking just as green as the elixir begs to be excused while he finds a restroom. He makes it to a toilet but vomits up Ping Pong balls. He looks at his mess in the toilet and says "Ping Pong Balls?" thus causing a rainstorm of ping pong balls fall on him. With his finger he controls the storm cloud to moving it around and as it drops ping pong balls. Rokko leaves the bathroom pissed off but is stopped by the girl at the door. She asks what his power is, and Rokko asks, "Who else drops ping pong balls?" thus causing a rainstorm of balls to drop on the two of them. The Rabbit laughs saying, "How fun." Rokko is upset, "What a useless power." The Bulter seeing what has happened, looks at Rokko with fear and walks to the back of the bar.

Rokko and the Rabbit walk around the castle while looking out onto the ocean floor feeling really happy. Outside of having a stupid power Rokko feels really happy being here. They run into Lilac who's just a wandering puppet head that floats across the floor. The rabbit is happy to see Lilac but Lilac gives Rokko a long unblinking stare while the two of them walk to Rabbit's room. The two of them have a few more drinks and eventually have sex. After some time, Rokko wakes up feeling ill again and throws up more ping pong balls in her bathroom, "How the hell do I flush these things?" He gets back into the bedroom and looks at the rabbit again. He thinks about staying because the feelings he gets down there are so nostalgic and the Rabbit girl reminds him of Ginger. If he had to leave, would he come back to take her to the surface with him? He sighed and shook his head. He is on a mission after all, so he puts on his cloths on to go exploring alone. While getting dressed, he finds a note in his pocket that is written in purple crayon, reading "meet me in the main dance hall."

Rokko heads to the dance hall, pretty sure it's a set up and ready to fight but just sees the moose head on the stare case sleeping. He walks over to it and taps it to wake it up. He shows it the note and Lilac nudges its head to walk to a water tank that leads outside. Lilac tells Rokko that he needs to get in that suit he brought with him, they can only talk in a place that the captain can't hear them. Rokko swims outside until he sees his suit and brings it inside the tank again.

Inside the suit, Lilac tells Rokko that the elixir Rokko took was made just for him. It's the only power that could stop the Captain and free the people in the castle. The captain has no intention of allowing anyone to leave, but the elixirs are killing the people in this castle. Rokko asks about the kids, and Lilac confirms that there are kids in the castle that want to go home and refuse to take the elixirs, so the Captain keeps them locked up. Rokko sees that this is the only time to take out the Captain, but wants to tell the Rabbit about it 1st, to give her a chance to leave with him. Lilac tells Rokko it's not possible cause at a certain hour all the doors are closed up since the elixirs give the people night cravings. People are so addicted that they'll go mad without them and some people have been known to break out of their rooms to raid the bars that serve them. This gives Rokko more of a reason to move quickly.

As Rokko runs through the castle back to Rabbit's room, the cameras are following him and doors have locked signals turned on. Lilac keeps falling asleep on him and wakes up randomly to tell Rokko what's happening. Lilac tells Rokko that no guards will attack him until all the doors are locked, "Captain doesn't see you threating enough to worry the people this early in the morning." Rokko gets to the Rabbit's room and she wakes up in a fright and floats to the ceiling to hide. Rokko takes off his mask to show that it's him and she comes down. He tells her what's going on but the door locks behind them and green gas starts to pump into the room. Rokko and the Rabbit start to lurch in pain and their eyes glow green. Lilac tells Rokko to put the mask back on, and he regains his consciousness. Rokko and Lilac watch as the Rabbit floats into the ceiling screaming in pain. Rokko panics but Lilac gets angry, upset that the Captain is making her go through the withdrawals of the elixir. A voice over the castle halls can be heard saying, "The Spy stole all the elixirs. Get him!" All the doors unlock and Rokko runs from the Rabbit to avoid hurting her.

Rokko runs through the castle dodging addict zombies, trying not to hurt people even though their strength is amazing. Lilac tells Rokko to use his Ping Pong balls, which cause people to trip and slip all over each other. Rokko drills into the vents and fills them up with as much Ping Pong balls as he can. Some people are able to shake off the cravings of the elixir as the gas in certain areas diffuses, but others die from the shock. Getting closer to the Captain's room, the guards are released and Rokko can go drill happy on them. Rokko unfortunately is over come when his suit is punctured and thee smell of the gas makes him pass out.

In the Captain's Room, Rokko wakes up to see that the captain has chugged a shit load of elixirs and has turned into a huge monster. Rokko hears Lilac from inside his suit say that the captain will blow up the castle. The Captain monologues about that now Rokko is here, more people will come down to take the castle away from him. He's the only one who can control his world and noone else will have his dream. The kids left cause they were ignored, imagination stilted. The drugs they take on the surface will kill them, down here they are immortal. Lilac whispers to Rokko that when he's done that he needs to tell the captain this...
Rokko: "You're forgetting one thing captain!"
Captain: "Oh?...and what is that?"
Rokko: "...what?!...*listens to Lilac and shakes his head*...Ping Pong Balls."
A rainstorm of Ping Pong Balls falls over the Captain and his expression changes from surprise to laughter and anger in a frighteningly quick time. Rokko flinches pretty sure that he's going to feel pain soon. The Captain yells out, "LILAC! You mother fucker, where are you?!'
Lilac looks over Rokko's shoulder and the Captain looks disgusted at the moose, "YOU are the spy? Why?"
Lilac: "It used to be funny!"
Captain: "You're still on this stupid gag?! You, behind my back, make an elixir to just humiliate me?"
Lilac: "NO! To have fun. We made a world together to have a place for our selves and our friends. It was about fun and using our imaginations to take us anywhere. The outside world will never understand, but we're supposed to understand each other."

Captain: "And still you mock me?! ME?! I made this world! This is my world and I want it MY WAY! You got it?! My world! My Rules!! And NO MORE Mother fuckn' PING PONG BALLS!"
A shower of Ping Pong Balls rain on the captain and he goes ape shit and rips up chairs and consoles attached to the walls and throw them at Rokko. Rokko gets hit with a chair but it snaps one of the restraints and he's able to break free. Lilac falls to the floor and tries to slither away but gets crushed and ripped from falling debris. Rokko jumps on the Captain, pounds his face and blasts ping pong balls into his mouth. Rokko makes a kill move and drills into the captain's gut, but sees his drill is stopped by a large safety pin. Confused, Rokko is knocked into a wall by the captain's failing arms.

The Captain runs after Rokko but trips over Ping Pong balls and falls over crying in a tantrum. Rokko gets up to drill the captain in the head but called off by a limping Lilac. Lilac jumps on the Captain and sings Lullaby and Goodnight. Rokko looks on in confusion as the Captain starts to calm down and grabs Lilac in a cuddle position and sucks his thumb. Lilac tells Rokko to press a button on the counsel. This stops the self destruct mode of the castle and plays classical music. A different smelling air is pumped into the room and the captain turns into a baby. All around the castle the people start turning into children. Lilac tells Rokko where the kids who have been locked up are and to just take everyone back to the surface.

After Rokko gets all the kids he can find in a submarine, he looks to find the Rabbit girl and her other band mates. He sees that she has been turned into a child as well. Rokko grows scared over what he did to her as an adult, but she doesn't remember any of it. Rokko and the kids get up to the surface and many parents are happy to see them. The children who were adults are surprised to see that much time has passed and all their relatives are now much older then they were when they left. The cops ask Rokko who all the other kids are and Rokko can't explain it other then drugs do crazy shit to your body. "Think of it as all of them getting a 2nd chance at life...even if it means it'll be worse than what it was like down there."

Rokko takes the Rabbit girl and her friends to where they used to live, in a small forest town, lost in a re-run loop. Everyone in that town is the same age as they were when the Rabbit and her pals left. Happy to see friends and family they jump onto the stage and perform their song. Rokko looks at em with sadness and disgust with himself. Later in the day, after Rokko and Crikkit catch up, Crikkit says that if she was made in the 30's she'd be an adult regardless of what she looks like. That and she probably puts out to her buddies all the time. Rokko gives Crikkit a death stare and yells, "Ping Pong Balls!" Crikkit flinches but nothing happens. Rokko squints and says "You lucked out this time."

Rokko's Tales: Magic Maggie and Zany & Wild Races

So I haven't really gotten into a few stories of Rokko, but I've been thinking of a lot of his stories during the 1960s through 1990s. Originally for Rokko's show I would have it pick up in the mid 2000's when he regains contact with his kids for the 1st time in years. We would cut back and forth between his life during the 1910, the 20s and during the 60-80s cause each part of that time were all so different for him. The 10's would be him wandering around getting into any mess and would develop his relationship with the mob and his overall personality. The 20s was him as a family man doing gofer jobs, a wrestler, and maintaining a good roll model for his kids.

The time during the late 50s to 90s was his dark time. He thought he had lost everything he worked so hard in his life to set right, so he went back to being a rake and roustabout. Mostly doing the things he did back in the 10s but dealing with 50 decades worth of different types of cartoons and characters that are far more messed up then he had come in contact with in his youth. This would be a great time frame to come up with some stories that mocked and parodies the things we think happened in the 70s. Here are just a few ideas I've thought of recently.
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In the mid 80's, Rokko is hired to be a body guard to a woman who hosts a kids show. Merry Maggie is a happy lady with a magic mirror that can see into people's hearts. She often uses it at the end of the show to look through the camera and calls out the names of the children she sees to wish them a happy day. The program is filmed over a porn theater in a grungy part of Albuquerque and do a casting call for kids to attend live broadcasts of the shows. The only parents to let their kids be apart of the casting call are the ones that think their kids are going to get famous and make them money, and some parents treat it like a day care center. Rokko is called to be a body guard for Maggie cause she's scared of children. She says that when she uses the magic mirror she can see the terrible thoughts all people have had, and she believes all children are evil. She belives that the mirror has shown her that a terrible child from the outside world will come kill some day.

She expects Rokko to beat up any kid that tries to touch her. Rokko hesitates but he spends most of the time finding ways to punish the children without hurting them. By the end of the day, Maggie has turned into a psychopath and goes mental on stage. Rokko attacks her and hold her down but is pushed over by a beast from the mirror. Rokko smashes the mirror and Maggie snaps out of it. She apologizes to all the kids and says that she was a fool for thinking any child would harm her. Cut to 15 years later, Maggie is resting in her home when an old fan of her show come by to kill her cause she never said his name at the end of her show to wish him a happy day.
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Rokko is held at gun point to fill in a spot at the Zany and Wild All Star Racing Event in Indianapolis. He owes a few punks money and the best way he can earn it back for them is to win 1st prize, or just make sure their home boy, Dick Dastardly, wins the race. Rokko agrees, so long as he gets a decent car. They give him a yellow Hudson Hornet but has to change his name to Hive. So with Crikkit in the trunk, he is known as Hive and the Bug in the Hornet.

He looks over his car with great satisfaction. Rokko says, "This is a Boozer car. From zero to hung over in 10 seconds, leaving a trail of beer flaming . It'll have no problem out running these dipshits." His competition are as fallows:
Vampra and Crock in the Doom Pot
Drippy, Stinky and Moe, the Do-No-Wrong Apes, in the Peel-Out Banana Boat.
Speeder Philippe in the Hot Tamale
The Inaudible Caveman and Julie, in the Cromangmoblie
Loose Goose in the Knot
Dick Dastardly and Mutsy in The Mean Machine
and Slappy Squirrel and the Ed Roth Bomber (Cause a pinto doesn't have the same explosive power of this girl on the highway)
(Info of the picture on the right, it comes from the Ed Roth website, and is a re-colored version of the Road Agent)

Rokko sees Slappy and is intrigued with her. Rokko has to tell her his fake name. "It's Hive, this is Bug and that's the Hornet."
Slappy: "So why is the Hive in the Hornet?"
Rokko: "Cause I'm too full of shit to fly! hehe...Yeah I'm here against my will."
They laugh and she says that it's hard to get any attention at all with all these wackos around these days. "Nothing says camio like playing a bit part in a All-Star racing event. Next thing you know Warner will stick me with Bob Hope for a 5 minuet diner sketch on a Variety Hour show with those Archie Boys."
Rokko and Slappy talk a little more about the other racers.
Rokko: "Was Goose always Loose or did Goose get loose after taking the Knot?"
Slappy: "Hahah! That's a good question! Not one we can answer but a good one to ask."

The Races start with with Dastardly using a rocket attached to his car and he jettisons into a tree five miles ahead of the race. Rokko shakes his head and steps on the gas.
Vampra and Crock are lead the race when Vampra sends out bats to pull the car faster. Philippe fills his tank with hot sauce he zooms by so fast it makes the Doom Pot spin and the bats get caught in Vampra's hair. The Caveman and Julie are cruzing around when the caveman spots the Ape's Banana Boat and starts to back up into it to try to eat it.

While the riff raff are stuck in a traffic jam Slappy and Rokko race neck and neck until Rokko sees Dick getting frustrated over a contraption on the side of the road. Philippe has already passed him and now Slappy passes him. Rokko pulls over to help Dick with his plan (Crikkit and Mutsy share a giggle fit).
Rokko: "I don't know how you got so far ahead but what are you doing here?"
Dick: "This confounded contraption won't work. It's supposed to send that Rock into that tree into the road. Everyone will have to stop! They won't know what to do and I'll be in the lead. Wahahahah!"
Rokko: "No! When you're ahead, you don't stop to pull over to set up a trap that, you know, someone could drive around. You stay on the road and punch it like a donkey. You idiot this is why you fail!
Dick: Be Quiet! You know nothing of my work! I have a reputation of being the meanest, nastiest, low down dirtiest racer in this game and I have to keep that image.
Rokko: "Yeah alright, well you know what Dick? The boys back at the house? They're sick and tired of this mean-nasty crap. They called me in to make you look good. Now get in your car and get to the finish line. I'll work on this thing."
Dick: "Oh...really? Well alright but make sure what ever you do is evil! If it's not evil it's not worth the effort!"
Rokko: "Yeah! Get out of here!"

So Rokko stays behind and sets the trap up. He ties the rope to pull the catapult to his car and is quite happy about the whole thing, "Well that should work, but where are the other racers? Feels like I've been working on this for hours and I hadn't heard anything go by."
Crikkit points to a few that he can see them coming so they jump in the car to take off. Crikkit yells ,"Wait you need to make it evil. Laugh while your driving!"
Rokko: "MUAAHAHAahaaa.wahever."

He drives off and it pulls the string and the rock shoots towards the tree across the street. The Ape's banana is caught under the tree and it shoots the banana off into the sky with them on it. The Doom Pot stops in time to avoid crashing, but Loose Gooses' Knot stop behind them and gets hit by the Cromagmobile that sends Goose into the Doom Pot and boils alive. Rokko and Crikkit look back on the action and look at each other with a cringe.

Later down the road, they see Dick Dastardly's car turn over again with him being crushed underneath it.
Rokko: "Now what happened?"
Dick: "That Slappy Squirrel topped over my car with a giant hand, but I knocked her off the cliff! She's falling to her doom! Muahahahaha!"
Rokko: "Huh?"
Rokko looks over the cliff to see Slappy. She calls out "Help! I'm stuck in suspended animation. My contract doesn't allow me to be put in real danger so the cliff has just been shifting between the same 5 frames since I fell over. Pull me up!"
Rokko looks around: "How can we pull up a car?"
Crikkit: "We have webs!" and he presses a button to shoot out webs from the back of the Hornet to grab Slappy's car as it falls closer to the ground and pulls it back up and lands up right and ready to take off.
Rokko: "Hornets don't shoot webs. What kind of shitty gimmick car is this?"
Slappy : "Don't question the logic to much on it kid, you can get yourself hurt." and she speeds off while blowing Rokko a kiss. He blushes a bit.

As Rokko caught up to Dick Dastardly farther down the road, he saw that Dick had set up Taco stand to distract Philippe "What's evil about a Taco stand?"
Crikkit "If it's a Taco Bell, the meat's made of my kin."
Rokko pulls over and tells Dick to leave, to which he kindly obliges. Rokko serves up Philippe the taco. Philippe takes a bite and feels so refreshed. Rokko is confused that the food doesn't appear to making Philippe sick. In a flash a bunch sirens start to ring and cops pull up to Philippe and cuff him, "Ay, Caramba, it's the INS-ese."
Rokko and Crikkit duck behind the stand, "Damn, Dick called immigration on him!"

They sneak back to the hornet and take off. They soon see the sign of the finish line and catch up to Dastardly and Slappy, who is ramming Slappy from behind. Slappy skids off to the side of the road and Dastardly takes the lead with his laugh ecoing through the canyon. Rokko pulls over to Slappy and asks if she has to be in her car to Win the race. She's not sure but Rokko trades cars with her anyway. She takes off in the Hornet to catch up and Rokko pumps some of Philippe's hot sauce into the tank of the Bomber. The fuse on the back of it lights up and jets off in a B-line towards Dastardly's car. In firey madness Rokko hits Dastardly and the two of them explode and fall to the side of the road, allowing Slappy and the Hornet to win.

Dastardly pounds the gound in angry protest: "Curses! Why don't I ever win!?"
Rokko: "Well...You're a Dick! Hahaha!
Musty and Crikkit snicker as Dastardly cries.
At the winners circle Slappy get her reward, to be center square in the Hollywood Squares and a gift certificate to Neiman-Marcus. "Great is that all?"
Rokko checks if she's ok and she thanks him for the great trip, hoping they meet again some day. As for Rokko and his debt to the punks, lets just say hornets can shot webs and end it.