Stories for Eddie for July

Ah another month goes by and here are some ideas I should put down before I forget them.

Eddie is a scientist, and usually he'll spend his time in his lab coming up with his crazy ideas. When he's in there the doors are usually locked cause he doesn't want to be disturbed. Plus people know when the doors open he'll have a new experiment or fancy gadget for the next day's show.

One day Ed shows off his computer, a Giant machine that takes up half the stage. It can add, subtract, multiply and talk. He built it all by himself from used calculator parts that have fallen from the sky. The fish are impressed cause really none of them could do something like that, but most of them have computers that can do more then that. There is only one problem that upsets Jenny the most about this machine...Ed used Jenny's voice and named it Jenny 2. Why?? Cause there is no other woman who can tell Eddie what to do like Jenny can. After the show Jen tells Ed to take the machine apart, but Ed just laughs and keeps his fingers crossed. While Ed and Jenny 2 talk in the lab about how well things when today, Ed tells Jenny2 how nice she is and he'll keep her around. Jenny 2 asks about Jenny 1 and why Jenny 2 can't direct the show, she knows how to do it more efficiently. Ed laughs, gives her a hug and goes to bed. Jenny 2 thinks and connects wires to all cameras and lighting in Ed's show room. When they all come back for the next day they see that Jenny 2 has connected herself to all the mechanics of the show, but Ed tells her they're shooting on location that day, but Jenny gets angry that Ed didn't take that thing apart. So while the crew is away (carpooling), J2 hooks into Jen's car to cut the breaks. When they get back Jen can't even start her car cause the battery has been drained (J2 needed the power) so crisis was averted. Later that night Ed takes apart all the wires J2 had hooked up tells her that it's helpful but J2 doesn't need to be anything more then a calculator and good friend. J2 gets upset and wraps her wires around Ed begging that they combine together. Ed squeezes free and says that they'll have more time to talk later. J2 just fumes. Late in the night J2 calls Jenny and with recorded sounds of Eddie and tried to tell Jen that she's fired. Ed hears these noises from his room and rushes to tell Jen it's a mistake "Just a late night boozer HAHAHA!"Jen:" Haha yeah, me too. Hay can you see my finger through the phone? Do that! *click*"
Ed asks what J2 was doing and J2 just grabs her wires around Ed again and begs they be one and sucks him into her Floppy Drive. Lots of moans, creeks and groans can be heard through the metal shell. When it gets it's quietest Eddie slams through the monitor of J2 covered in oil, with her battery in his arms. She shuts off with a delighted sigh.
The next morning Ed tells Shark about this and Sharks tells him a story:" My Brother named his car after his old girlfriend. He dumped her and she dumped paint on his car. He got a new paint job and then he got a new girlfriend. That car...stalled, caught on fire, rolled down a hill and hit a police car, and sucked gas like a mofo. He sold that car and the new owner said it was the best car he'd ever owned. Ran like a dream. I have point to this story Ed but I shouldn't have to tell you. I've just never found the allure of naming machines after women."
Ed:"Hmm...What if he named it Carl? Carl never hurt anybody. Plus, get it? Carl and car. HAhaha!
Shark: "Heh, that's stupid!"

For many years Ed has been working on making a perfect non pop-able bubble that's not too toxic for the oceans. It's a feat that haunts his drams and he gets upset at every bubble he makes that pops. Often times the bubbles come out as interesting animals and human figures with conversational thought, as if they're all free thinking creatures that want to feel life and joy, but it's taken from them the moment they touch the ceiling. A few times the bubbles have come out mean and nasty and want attack and hurt Ed but pop. One night he weaves out a bubble with near perfection. She doesn't float to the ceiling and she can move around freely on her own will. Ed begs her to be careful and not touch anything, as he himself is too afraid to touch her. She touches something and her arm pops, but Ed puts another one on her. Ed talks to her about the world she's in and how there are so many dangers out there so she must stay in the lab. Ed goes to get Shark and Jen to come see her, but outside there are fishermen and all the fish are hiding or getting hooked up. One guy even has a robotic sub that can lure fish with sonic sounds and expensive bait. Men are throwing Chum over board and Shark is pounding his head with frustration cause it smells so good. The bubble girl looks out and sees all the little fish getting pulled up and she rushes out to try to rescue them. Ed panics and goes after her, Shark fallows in an attempt to try to bite off some free floating chum, and of course help Eddie. The bubble girl floats in front of one fish telling him it's a trap and the fish panics and swims off, making more bubbles and allowing the bubble girl to get bigger. She swims around fast enough and makes a whirlpool to throw some of the fishermen's boats off. Everytime Ed gets close enough to grab her he stops himself out of fear of popping her. She yells to him that she's ok and knows not to touch anything. She wants to be a hero and that makes Ed cry, cause he sees just how pure she is. So pure it's a shame she was born at such a terrible time. The bubble girl sees the Robo Sub and makes it run into a few hooks where the humans hook it and break it. Shark sees that there are less hooks and thinks it's safe to eat a few of the left over meat chunks in the water, but grabs one of the remaining hooks and is instantly pulled up. Ed grabs Shark and helps to pull him back down, but the bubble girl thinks of a plan to push Shark out of the water and over the boat to release the hook. Ed begs her not to, but she creates a rush of water so fast the three of them shoot out of the water and the hook breaks free (freaking out the fishermen). She pops the moment she hits the surface. As Ed and Shark land back in the water Ed is sobbing tears and looks at the ripples where she was. Shark asks if he could make another, but Ed feels he needs to stop. He's not pure enough to play god any more.

Speaking of Shark hooks, Ed gets a request from Donny to introduce him to Ed's boss, a giant Great White. Ed's have some terrible moment with his boss before but Ed is never intimidated by the guy cause he's really just a moron. Ed and Jen have tried to explain the logic in the things they do, but the boss of the network just looks at them with his blank black eyes, wondering why they don't do fart jokes. Anyway, Ed sets a coffee meeting with the Boss and immediately the Boss and Donny hit it off. They talk about being a red blooded shark and how fruits like Ed need to man up. So they all strip nude and take off to a temporary Shark bar that was set up around the carcase of a dead seal. The three of them sit amongst other larger mean sharks and they laugh and drink booze up. The waiter, a pelican, asks what they want and the two sharks say big slabs of fat. Ed looks over at the dead face of the seal and looks back at the pelican, "...Do you have a salad?"
Pelican: "What type of dressing you want?"
Ed:" Oh?...Do you have a vinaigrette?"
The Pelican rolls his eyes and head to the back.
Ed:"Ranch will work!"
Ed's Boss looks at Ed and says how pathetic he is. A carnivore with no desire for the flesh. Those teeth are made for gnawing boy!. Donny agrees and whispers to Ed how he loves how Ed's making Don look better. Ed doesn't say a thing during all of this and keeps a calm face during all of this, sipping his drink. The pelican slabs two big chunks of fat in front of the sharks, Ed's Boss picks it up with his mouth and chews on it in mid air in happy furiousness. The pelican puts the salad in front of Ed and Ed sees what's on it "You gave me BEETS?! Oh Sailor have you been around! *Munch*"
Pelican: "My wife planted those."
Ed:" Oh...*chew* Well they're good, you better love her!"
Donny and the Boss finish up real fast and chug a few more drinks. and pull Ed away from his food to go off and boat tipping. They harass a few couples in their boat and scare some late night surfers, all the while Ed says it's not wise to mess with them like that. This upsets Ed's boss saying that he might just replace Ed's show with Donny's new show, seeing how Don is more fun. Ed looks to Donny for back up, but Donny shrugs and continues to fallow the big white shark. Soon a large boat comes up from the ocean side and a few smaller rafts come from it and let off lines with large chunks of meat on them. Not seeing the hooks in the meat, the boss takes a hard bite on one of the meats and gets hooked. He starts to panic and cry and begs for Ed to save him, all the while he's drawing closer and closer to the fishermen's boat. Ed just told the boss to relax and if he fights then get could make it worse for himself. They pull the boss on board and take his measurements and put a tracking meter on his fin and is put back into the water. Ed takes the boss back to his lair and screws the tracking meter off and promises to not tell anyone about the incident if Ed can keep his show and Donny can still get an acting job out of all of this. The boss agrees and they never speak of this again.

Ed asks Jen to take him to Hell one day. Jenny takes a double look at Ed not sure why he would ask such a weird thing. Ed says he knows Jenny is the only woman who could take him there and he really wants to go there but can't wait a day later. Jen shakes her head in disbelief at this idea but escorts Ed to a point at the bottom of the ocean where the lava flows out. Jen puts a water bubble around Ed's head and the tow of them walk through a hole in the ground and into hell. Ed looks around and complains that it's hot. The water bubble around his head is evaporating but there are leaks in the ceiling of hell where Ed can stand under and the bubble gets bigger again. Jen fallows Eddie as he looks around and points to places he's heading to, all the while stopping giant rocks and demons from hitting Ed. A bunch of little fire Nymphs start to dance around and tease Jen for being being promiscuous. Ed is obviously wandering around as if he's looking for someone and Jen begs him to tell her just want he wants down here so badly. The Nymphs pull Jen away from Ed and tell her that she belongs there and she could just easily push him over and she'll get the royal treatment from the boss. She'll be a queen and her curse will be over. But Jenny knows better and keeps Ed safe from harm. They get to a pit of flaming coal and Trash where Ed finally sees someone in there and runs after him. He looks at the man and slaps him silly. Eddie points and says "You know what you did...you broke my heart..."He turns around and walks away ,"Ok Jenny lets go." Jenny falls into the fire.

Eddie is travelling across the surface of the ocean one day just looking at the clouds, when he sees a rainbow and becomes happier. He fallows the rainbow for a while to see where it ends, but as he looks closer at it he notices that there is something moving at the end of it. He squints and thinks he sees a horse, but it disappears into the clouds. The next day he goes up and looks for another rainbow but it's not there. Over the course of a few days he comes back in the right weather conditions with nets and gadgets that allow him to get a closer look at the rainbow horse. Everyone in the studio thinks Ed is being a moron and that there aren't horses at the end of rainbows. The next day how ever Ed sees a rainbow and sits himself in a giant Pea Shooter he built to launch him out of the water into the sky to reach the rainbow. He only gets high enough to land on a rock. He then lights a rocket but sees he can't light the match under water, and even when he climbs back on the rock the fuse is too wet. Ed gets a high zoom camera on the end of the rainbow but it disappears in the lens and Ed gets upset. Not long after that a weird Manatee comes to him and tells him about the unicorn, and how only the pure of heart can see them. Ed laughs at this old man and consideres it impossible. The old man says that he will show Ed the horse if he promises to use it to spread joy, and Ed says "Well Duh!". So come sunset the two of them wait at the top of the ocean watching the sun go down. Ed is about to go to sleep but is nudged by the manatee to ask if he sees it. Ed looks and thinks he sees an outline of a horse on the horizon where the sun as made a rainbow pattern on the water. The manatee tells Ed to take off hi glasses but Ed exclaims that won't make him see it better. BUT as Ed takes off his glasses a glow of light and rainbows projects from a magnificent horse. This fills Ed's heart with so much joy he runs across the waters to hug the horse, and the ride off into the light together.
The next day, the staff is instructed to set up for filming outside and all the kids are excited to see what Ed has to share. Not long Ed with his unicorn rides to the bottom of the ocean and all the kids cheer and grow excited. Most of the adults look at confusion and only a few note that they see Ed on something but it's more like a glow of light. Ed gives a smug look and rides off with a dorky laughter and Jen shoots herself (well he aint coming back).

That's it for now.